I mean it! There are kids everywhere! Most of them are parentless and out of control at Festival mall, deliberately running into me as I mind my own business, shopping for the latest copy DVD movie.
The same thing happens out on the trail. Kids are everywhere. Although most of them are dressed in rags, they are much better behaved than the one's at the mall.
Nearly all of them wave and shout "good morning" regardless what time of day it is. Some of them even jump out in front of you and hold their hand up for a "high five" Which is rather disconcerting the first time it happens to you. Especially if you are hooning down singletrack at 40kmh.
So why so many? When I lived here 5 years ago the population was about the same as the UK. Just shy of 70 million. Now it's more than 80 million. Thats 10 million new babies! IN 5 YEARS!
Now, they are Catholic and this obviously has some bearing. The majority are also very poor and derive most of their income from agriculture. So squeezing out a few babies is cheaper than buying a cow to plough your field and I guess you have a food supply if your crop fails....
But I mean! 10 million in five years! That's more than the entire population of New Zealand, Fiji, Samoa and Singapore combined!
Someone needs to get this under control, and its going to be ME! In future when a small child walks into me when im shopping. I shall not leap around like ive been electrocued in order to avoid them, nor shall I apologise to THEM...for walking into ME!
No I shall continue on my current course, I shall not be swathed. I shall be as steadfast as a patriot launched at a SCUD missile. It will be their fault if I accidently walk over them.
If a few small children get maimed in the process, well so be it. They will learn and they will come to fear the Fungus Method of Population Control.
I shall however still high five the kids on my rides...why? Because it's cool and it makes me feel like I can be down with the kids! It also makes me feel like the Fonz off Happy Day's...heeeey!
4 comments:
Hilarious, but so true.
Outside my home, on the street until around 9 pm every night, there will be kids playing and generally making a lot of noise. Thank God I don't try to sleep that early!
Those kids don't look too impressed at your drop there - they probably do it on a clapped-out old BMX in bare feet!
Mate, I don't have your email but here is a site you can get maps from for the Philippines... http://www.namria.gov.ph/shop.asp and an email address for you as well: oss@namria.gov.ph
This is Momma grooving fungus how about these grandchildren you keep promising me then you can make it 10 million and 1 or 2 or 3 or twins then triplets great.
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