Brown Food Theory

I'm just back from a 3 week tour of London, Scotland, Essex and Norfolk. And it was bloody cold! Everytime I go back I completely forget how to dress and spend my time either freezing my nuts off or pulling off layers because i'm hotter than the interior of Barry Whites underwear.



Speaking of Barry White, I got on the scales yesterday and find out that I've put on about 5 kilo's of weight. That's almost 5% of my total body weight! The reason was all that good old fashioned English (& Scottish) food. Carbohydrates, Starch and Fat...yum. I gorged my self on the likes of scotch eggs, pork pies, fish and chips (proper chips) shepherds pie, greasy spoon breakfasts, yes and even a bit of haggis.



I find it strange that the English empire spanned so many countries for hundreds of years but you will hardly ever find a "British" resturant chain in your high street.

Filipino food is the same, you can get Chinese, Thai, Vietnemese, Indian and even Singapore noodles but you'll be hard pressed to find a Filipino resturant anywhere outside of the Philippines (Jolibee does not count)



Now im going to upset some of my Filipino friends here, but I think the reason is that Filipino food is very much an aquired taste.

I'm sorry, but sugar is not a condiment, pigs ears are treats for dogs, not for humans and 10 day old duck embryo is not a delicacy, its a challenge out of Fear Factor.....



I find it hard to belive that English food is absent from the world of culinary adventures for the same reason. I firmly belive that any food that is of a certain colour is guranteed delicious....as long that colour is brown.

Which brings me on to my theory. The Brown Food Theory.

The list below clearly illustrates that the best food in the world is brown, while the worst is some other colour, ussualy green!.

GOOD FOOD = BROWN
Chocolate

Steak

Toast

Sausages
Pies


BAD FOOD = GREEN
Brussel Sprouts

Cabbage
Bogies


So there we have it. Proven beyond all reasonable doubt that brown food is the best food in the world. The exception of course here is poo. But my dog seems to think that its perfectly acceptable culinary fare....



If its good enough for her, maybe its good enough for you?

To add even further proof to my theory. If for some strange reason you find yourself in a position where 'gasp' brown food is not availble. There is a perfect solution at hand.

In my opinion it is one of the great British inventions and stands alongside such breakthroughs as the hovercraft, the steam engine and erm...gravity........



HP Brown Sauce! Making every meal brown since the dawn of time......